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Things I Read About

by Kelsey Humphreys

Genre: ,

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Series:

Book #

4

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Content Guide

This guide helps readers understand the content of this book.
Click the ⓘ icons to see how each level is defined.

Intimacy Level

Innuendo Level

Swearing Amount

Violence Level

Age Recommendation

LGBTQ Content

Trigger Warnings

Synopsis

Sally Canton wanted one week. Just one week where she was not, well, herself. Not the quirky kid sister. Not the smart sidekick. Not the baby of the Canton family (as in the massive greeting card empire, Canton International.) One last Spring Break as the main character in her own story. Bold, flirty, carefree.

And she got that week. Complete with the dark, mysterious, tattooed man of her dreams.

Nate Brenner was her fantasy hero come to life. With him, she felt like a true heroine from all her favorite books…but it was a ruse that was too exhausting to keep up. When the trip ended, she left him with just her memory. No phone number or email address, not even a last name. They’d never meet again.

Which is why the sight of him at a family event—assigned as her security detail—is enough to make her pass out. And Nate? Well, he is all business now. He has one job: protect the spoiled little rich girl who lied to him and disappeared into thin air. End of story.

This standalone novel is a smart, steamy, full-length contemporary romance. Prepare for hilarious dialogue, unruly goats, a very stupid Smart Home, a swoony happily ever after, and a sisters group text thread you’ll wish you could join!

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Physical Intimacy Levels

Level 1

  • Holding hands or affectionate touching
  • Compliments or confessing love
  • Low-description kissing
  • Tender embraces or cuddling
  • Blushing and sighing
  • Non-descriptive discussions of sex
  • Established relationships
  • Fade to black if married
  • Any sexual encounters are only referred to from the past, not described or shown on page
 

Level 2

  • Touch that signals attraction
  • No touching in the underwear zone
  • Long kisses, lightly descriptive
  • Deeper kisses, tongue implied but not described
  • Feeling warm or flushed
  • Gasping, deep sighs, light growls or groans
  • Thinking or speaking about desire in a non-descriptive way
  • Fade to black for established relationships after a scene that matches this level, though this may be unpopular if they are not married
 

Level 3

 

  • Hands moving, still not in the underwear zone
  • French kissing with tongue described
  • Make-out sessions that still follow these guidelines
  • Feeling hot or sweaty
  • Heavier gasping, groaning, deep growls, or panting
  • More frantic moments and some loss of control
  • Male shirt may come off, but nothing else
  • Leg may straddle waist, but no mention of arousal
  • If characters lie down together, there should be little description of contact or movement
  • May happen in a bedroom or on a bed, but should be interrupted or end with a fade to black scene
  • Focus stays on the emotion
  • Fade to black should still happen between married couples or at the end of the book between engaged or committed couples

Innuendo Levels

Level 0 — None

  • No sexual innuendo
  • No suggestive humor
  • No crude or sexual jokes

Level 1 — Minimal

  • Minimal innuendo or double meanings
  • Light teasing
  • Mild crude or dad humor
  • Not frequent or strong

Level 2 — Moderate

  • Moderate suggestive humor
  • Double meanings
  • Sexual tension
  • May include crude or sexual jokes

Level 3 — Heavy

  • Heavy innuendo
  • Strong suggestive dialogue
  • Frequent crude or sexual humor

Swearing Levels

Zero

  • No swearing

Mild

  • Up to 10 uses of “hel*” or “dam*”

Moderate

  • 10+ uses of “hel*” or “dam*”
  • And/or use of bodily swear words like “shi*,” “as*,” etc.

Severe

  • 30+ swear words
  • And/or any use of the F-word one or more times

Violence Levels

Zero

  • No on-page violence

Mild

  • Violence is present without detail or only referenced vaguely
  • May briefly mention blood or injuries
  • Comparable to a G-rated movie

Moderate

  • Violence is more frequent and/or more detailed
  • Can be more intense
  • Injuries may be lightly described
  • Comparable to a PG-rated movie

Severe

  • Violence is more detailed and frequent
  • Blood may be mentioned and injuries may be described in detail
  • Comparable to a PG-13-rated movie

Intimacy Levels

Level 1

  • Holding hands/Affectionate touching
  • Compliments/confessing love
  • Low-description kissing
  • Tender embraces/cuddling
  • Blushing and sighing
  • Non-descriptive discussions of sex
  • Established relationships
  • Fade to black if married
  • Any sexual encounters from past only referred to, not described or on-screen

Level 2

  • Touch that signals attraction
  • No touching in underwear zone
  • Long kisses, lightly descriptive
  • Deeper kisses, tongue implied not described
  • Feel warm/flushed
  • Gasping, deep sighs, light growls and groans
  • Thinking/speaking about desire non-descriptive
  • Fade to black for established relationships after a scene that matches this level – but may be unpopular if not married

Level 3

  • Hands moving, still not in underwear zone
  • French kiss with tongue described
  • Make-out sessions still follow guidelines
  • Feel hot, sweating
  • Heavier gasping, groaning, deep growls, panting
  • More frantic and lose some control
  • Male shirt may come off, but nothing else
  • Leg may straddle waist, but no mention of arousal
  • If they lay down together anywhere, use little description of contact/moving
  • May happen in a bedroom or on a bed, but should be interrupted or end with fade to black scene. Keep focus on the emotion.
  • Fade to black should still happen between married couples or at the end of the book between engaged/committed couples.